I made myself take my younger dog Klaus to the park today so he could work out some energy. He’s now passed out on the cold kitchen tile so mission accomplished! A rotund gentleman on a bike rode past me and said “Staying healthy is hard work” and I wanted to say “Yes, staying healthy killed my husband” but then I knew that would be inappropriate. I have these internal thoughts all the time. People say things like this and I want to respond with an unsuitable quip that would unintentionally make them feel uncomfortable. So I just laughed and said “Yes, it sure is a lot of work!”
And it really is a lot of work when the last thing on your mind is staying healthy so you can live a long and lonely existence. I’m in that phase where prolonging my life seems ridiculous because I frankly don’t feel up to the task of getting old alone. I’ve eaten my own body weight in macaroni and cheese, pizza, Cheetos and ice cream. I don’t wear sun screen, I don’t drink 64 ounces of water a day, I don’t take my multi-vitamins and I probably wouldn’t wear my seatbelt if the threat of getting a ticket wasn’t present. I’ve come to realize that when it’s your time, it’s your time. And we can drink our kale smoothies and exercise 5 days a week for 30 minutes a day but does it truly matter?
I’m only concentrating on things that make me happy these days. And if those things are eating cupcakes and watching an entire season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia in one day…then who cares? The walk in the park today was nice but I only enjoyed it because Klaus seemed really happy. I’m sure I’ll eventually feel up to eating carrot sticks and exercising but for now I’m just focusing on the next 15 minutes…and my body is telling me it is time for carbs and couch surfing.