I’m thinking about starting my own clothing line called “Widow bWear“ because sometimes you just need a shirt that says “Back off or I will cut you!” Perhaps the clothing line can have a secret pocket where pepper spray or a razor can be stored safely until needed. Although younger widows may be a minority there is a major problem with the opposite sex thinking it is perfectly acceptable, and not the least bit morally bankrupt, to flirt with us. I use the term opposite sex rather than males because I’ve heard this is an issue for widows and widowers and I don’t want to be sexist. The predators naively assume we are ready to jump into regretful situations because they view us as weak and vulnerable…easy and wounded prey apt to make terrible choices when sidelined by grief and loneliness. They believe our need to feel a connection is stronger than our longing for our lost love.
I can understand someone who doesn’t know me or my situation making inappropriate comments after some drinks at the bar, but someone who was my husband’s friend? Seriously, in what world is such deplorable and ridiculous behavior acceptable? I tried to write it off initially but the comments were followed by blatant texts and then insinuations in the midst of social situations. The more I thought about it the angrier I became at the complete and total lack of respect for not only me, but especially for Jason.
I had visions of using the subpar pair of scissors that came with my Victorinox Swiss Army knife key chain to haphazardly remove specific parts of his ‘friend’ and mail the shriveled remnant back to him weeks later. I’d include a note saying something clever and sassy such as “Bites from Black Widows are deadly” or “The next time it’ll be more than just your tongue in a box.” Yes, the shriveled remnant I mentioned earlier was a reference to the tongue…but I know what you were thinking. It occurred to me too.
I shouldn’t have to wear a shirt that says “Emotionally Unavailable Widow” because that should just be a given if you know me at all. Unfortunately it isn’t and that makes me very sad…and also very frustrated and angry for the widows and widowers who are taken advantage of because I know it happens. And I wish I was there with my crappy scissors on a key chain to avenge them all! FedEx and UPS would be busy shipping hazardous material around the country and I’d be the vigilante serving up justice one tracking number at a time!
I still wear my wedding ring. I am still married. I still have a husband. He’s just out of town. Really out of town…forever.