All of my neighbors were on ladders today putting up holiday decorations. The yards are littered with inflatable snowmen and wicker reindeer trapped in tangles of lights. It’s like Clark Griswold took a shat on everything. Makes me wish I lived in an apartment complex full of Jehova’s Witnesses. That sounds really Scroogy but I can’t help it…I just want to get this over with already. The next 25 days will be like pulling off a bandaid very slowly and watching the arm hairs rip from their roots.
I was outside today too washing Jason’s truck and mowing the leaves to avoid the laborious task of raking them. Most of my neighbors said hello but some wouldn’t even make eye contact. I’d like to tell them ‘death of a spouse’ isn’t contagious but I think some people keep their distance because they’re uncomfortable around me. I get it. I’m uncomfortable around me most of the time too, and being alone with me is the worst. I never know exactly what to say to myself to make it feel better. I mostly just feel crazy.
My amazing friend just sent me this quote minutes ago and it fits our conditions perfectly.