I still refer to all possessions as “ours” instead of mine. I am not sure why my brain is so resistant to this transition. I catch myself every single time I say it and wonder if the person I am talking to thinks I’m in denial. I can’t adjust to the term “mine” and I really don’t like the looks of the lonely letter “I” either. I miss the “us” and the “ours” and the “we” that served as the prefix to all of life’s plans. Today is the 8 month anniversary and soon I will be in the double digits. And eventually he will have been dead for longer than we were together. I’m holding out a small glimmer of hope that if I keep missing him the way I do now then he’ll come back. Everyone says if you want something bad enough then it will come true. But that’s a lie. I’ve never wanted something more than I want Jason yet the days and nights keep passing, and he still isn’t here.