A Rant on Turds.

I wish the world was populated by less self-absorbed jackasses.  I think living through a traumatic experience that I didn’t actually believe I’d get through in one piece has boosted my empathy, and also my patience…a little.

My supervisor allowed me to work from home a couple days a week in the months following Jason’s death, and especially around the holiday season which I found incredibly difficult.  Most of my coworkers were very supportive and even covered my office window with wrapping paper since my office resembles more of a display case in a pet store than a real office.  There are no such things as blinds or privacy where I work so I welcomed the ability to cry and scowl in private behind festive paper designed to look like a wrapped present on those days I had to be in the office.

Of course there is one self-absorbed coworker who lacks any type of empathy or emotional intelligence.  In fact I think this person is the antithesis of all potentially good character qualities someone could posses.  She lacks all of them.  Every single one.  Today she was whining about her situation and I mentioned that perhaps the solution would be to work from home a day or two a week.  Her snotty and sarcastic response was “No, only you are allowed to work from home.”  I quickly replied in a hostile tone that the reason I had been permitted to work from home for a few months is because I was going through a rough patch due to my husband dying suddenly and having a hard time coping with it, especially during the holidays when everyone around me is shooting reindeer and glitter out their backsides.

We’ve recently been asked to use a new communication and feedback tool called SBI which stands for Situation-Behavior-Impact.  Here’s an example of how this technique might work:

Me: Yesterday when you came into my office and made the rude comment about me being the only person allowed to work from home  (keep in mind this was only the end of last year for a few months) I felt very offended.  What you said was completely insensitive given my situation and the reason surrounding my permission to work from home temporarily.  The impact this self-absorbed behavior had on me was very negative because I don’t think for one second you would like to trade places with me, even if it meant you could work from home.  Trust me, working in my pajamas is a crappy consolation prize considering I’ll never see my husband again.  The fact that you felt that was unfair shows you lack character and empathy towards others and I believe you are a self-centered bitch.

Asshole Coworker:  Doesn’t say anything but stomps off in anger straight to our supervisor’s office so she can tell her how her feelings are hurt and I am a mean person for standing up for myself.

Supervisor: Renee, come into my office.  And then I get in trouble for calling someone out who completely deserves to be told what I think of her behavior and lack of compassion.

Can anyone see how this SBI technique is a complete failure when dealing with someone who has the emotional “me, me, me” capacity of a two-year old?  Yeah, it will go over like a ton of fruit cake, which by the way she is not getting one from me this year even though I always get her one during my dreaded trips to Costco.  If I get her a fruit cake then it will be lodged in a very uncomfortable orifice on her person which may require medical attention.  I’m really irritated and needed to vent.

The point is that most everyone understands but there’s always that one dick who hasn’t yet received the memo about life not being fair.  Get over it.

End Rant.  Thanks for listening

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “A Rant on Turds.

  1. Wow, Renee- I had a similar thing happen this weekend with my friend’s emotionally inept sister. I too, sent her a message telling her how much her comment was mean and hurtful. Sorry you had to go through it at work. 😦 As you have said, we have learned a lot through our grief journey- many people “get it” and if they don’t they at least try to empathize. However, there are the “others” who don’t get it, and they are too self absorbed to have the desire or the capacity to see what other’s are going through. Rant all you want- it will help you get past the jerks in life!
    Thinking of you……….

    Like

    1. Thank you 🙂 I just needed to vent and get it out of my system. I realize some people just lack the a certain grace but it can be frustrating when they are relatives or people we have to spend so much time with every day! Hope you are well!

      Like

  2. Fruitcake in unmentionable orifice made me laugh. Totally justified (that and the rant) – these people who find a way to make everything about THEM drive me mad. Selfish, childish, incapable of appreciating anyone else’s perspective. I’m stunned that anyone could be so insensitive… but I’m also not, because some people just really, really suck. Love to you.

    Like

    1. Thank you for appreciating the dark humor! That is sometimes the only way I can deal with such petty behavior. Oh well…I figure everyone will have the rug pulled out from under them at some point and maybe then they’ll get it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah yes those wonderful DGIs who shoot reindeer and glitter out their backsides. It’s the most wonderful time of the fucking year. You post made me laugh. I like your tone. Gotta make ourselves laugh during this widow crap, right?

    Like

  4. This made me laugh today, thanks.
    Going through what you have, did make you empathetic but it also made aware of
    ‘real’ problems vs what passes for problems for people who haven’t faced a struggle.

    I can’t tell you how many people I cut out or called out when they tried to get sympathy for their bullsh!t problems. Especially those caused by their own stupidity. and it feels awesome cutting out the bullsh!t. I have never felt more honest in my entire life.

    Sucks it’s a co-worker, but you were right to stand up for yourself

    at the risk of sounding offensive – f*ck that ho.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s