Chinese New Year of the Slut (or the year of the Cock) – Part II

“I’ve Got Vaginal Amnesia.”

You know you’ve been excessively promiscuous when you have to make a list to remember all their names and faces.  But then you review the list and have that nagging sensation that you’re missing someone.  Yes, there is definitely someone else you can’t remember.  So you transport yourself back in time.  You begin by recalling all of your UTI’s, piecing together those burning and itchy 6-months, and jogging through the various visits to FastMed after you could no longer tolerate pissing blood and fire-ants.

And suddenly you remember him!  Okay, maybe the name isn’t coming to you exactly, but you do remember his hair…or at least his back hair, so you just reference him as “lots of back hair guy” on the list.   But then you read through the list again and realize the nagging feeling is still there…someone else is missing too!

A faint twinge of self-disgust settles in as you come to terms with the fact that your behavior last year was much more reckless than previously thought.   You had convinced yourself it was only one new guy for every New Moon, which isn’t that bad considering there are four weekends in a month, giving you roughly 8-9 evenings of potentially poor decision-making (I don’t get black-out drunk on weekdays because I’m a responsible adult).  So not the worst thing you’ve ever done.  But wait, you do some math and suddenly you notice you have seven names covering a six-month period…and there is still the unmemorable one who hopefully you’ll recall in case you ever need to compose that “I’m sorry if I gave you HIV” letter, or you could just use the one you saved on your computer from the last time you had a scare…and a conscience.

Ah yes!  Number eight is the one who professed his undying devotion before he even got his dick wet. So unfortunate.  You almost felt bad about that one because you knew letting him into your lady purse would only make his adoration of you more intense. But you did it anyway because not only are you behaving like a filthy dame but you’re also insanely selfish and emotionally destructive.

Eventually this will catch up with you.  Okay, not you literally since I’m talking about myself in 3rd person.  You do this a lot when you don’t want to own your shit.

To Be Continued…

 

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